Online dating when to make it official
Earlier this year, The New York Times published an article called “The End of Courtship?
” explaining how proper dating has been replaced with casual hook ups and ill-defined relationships. And when I say I’ve learnt this the hard way, I mean it.
That’s like being awarded a relationship through squatter’s rights.
And if you land a boyfriend that way and then ‘win’ (and by ‘win,’ I mean you get the ultimate prize – marriage) then can you ever really relax, knowing they were so blasé about you when you first met that it took them six months, nine months, a year to refer to you as their girlfriend?
You can actually date someone in hopes of having a future with them, not just because it’s convenient or you’re lonely on a Friday night.
Here are telltale signs it’s time to define the relationship.
However, according to a male friend, it’s just the way some men are.
Of course, there’s always the chance that I’m (shocker) wrong – maybe eight weeks is far too early to call it – maybe I’m going to miss out on swathes of wonderful, slightly indecisive men who need longer than a couple of months to decide if they want to be in a relationship.
Maybe you’re still in the dating-multiple-people phase. No matter what level you and your yet-to-be-defined relationship partner are at, at some point, it’s bound to come up and it's important you make sure you're on the same page.
But when is the right time to define the relationship?
We can be in touch with our potential paramours all the time – via texts, on Facebook, on email – and this constant contact can be misleading – giving us the impression that we’re embroiled in something much more meaningful than we really are. My reasoning being that if someone doesn’t feel strongly enough about me after a couple of months, then they’re never going to feel strongly enough for me to spend time and energy on them.
But the fact is – and this is something I’ve had to learn the hard way – if one of you isn’t calling it a relationship, Then. Yes, I could hang around, try and coax them into it, or just generally refuse to go away until it becomes easier for them to give in – but who wants to do that?
It's a confusing time in dating, where social media and technology (texts and Facebook messages) have overtaken good old-fashioned courting and wooing someone over.