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A well spouse may feel guilt about being healthy, or about feeling angry or resentful.If you are unfaithful while caring for an ailing spouse, “you’ve got a double whammy,” Paz says.After all, traditional marriage vows say "in sickness and in health," not "in health or until I can’t take it anymore, in which case I’ll get my needs met elsewhere." And yet some relationship therapists maintain that, in certain situations, extramarital relationships can fall into the same category as other “put your own oxygen mask on first” strategies.Like respite care, joining a support group and finding time to exercise, the affair may counter the loneliness and isolation that leads to caregiver burnout.After all, watching the person you love slowly deteriorate while your own role shifts from lover and equal partner to nurse and caretaker is a heavy burden.Even some devoted spouses may seek companionship — emotional, physical or some combination thereof — elsewhere.
Period." Of course, the ideal is the selfless, devoted, faithful wife or husband who sits by the bedside, tending to an ailing partner till death do them part.“In the support groups I’d always hear 'I felt guilty I wasn’t home with him when I went to a yoga class, got my nails done or had a fun night out with the girls,” Paz says.
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